I hear voices in my head.
Voices of doubt.
“You can’t do this.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“You are not qualified.”
“Eat the cake.”
Echoes from my past.
“You are lazy.”
“You are stupid.”
“You don’t contribute anything.”
“You aren’t good enough.”
“You. Are. Nothing.”
“You know you want the cake.”
Voices of fear.
“You are the only one who thinks this, feels this, experiences this.”
“They’re going to think you’re stupid.”
“Cake will make it better.”
The voices articulate what I fear is true. And so often I believe the taunts. Just a suggestion is all I need. It’s a weed seed in my mind. When I don’t pull those weeds early, they germinate and grow, choking out my confidence. The harvest of self-doubt is crippling and paralyzing.
Doubts. Self-incrimination. Isolation. Shame.
“You are alone.”
The perfect lie designed to silence and cripple us.
But we have a choice. We can listen to the echoes and the taunts; we can give into the fear and do nothing. Or we can silence those lies with truth and listen hard for God’s whispers that speak love, courage, and acceptance.
“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.” Isaiah 54:4
“I am ashamed and unlovable.”
“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5
“I’m not smart enough. I’m not good enough.”
“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” I Corinthians 1:27
“I am all those things ‘they’ said I was: stupid, unmotivated, lazy, useless.”
“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12
“Who do I think I am?”
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1
“I have made so many mistakes, failed too many times.”
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert, streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19
“I can’t do this on my own!”
“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:18-19
Instead of giving weight to our failures and abandoning so easily the confidence that comes from believing God’s promises, we can choose to silence the lies with the alternate reality we reside in as Christians.
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36
So when the voices of doubt begin, instead of readily listening to the lies, we should stick our fingers in our ears and loudly proclaim, “La, la, la, la! I’m not listening!”